Troy is overrun by children, teens, and even young adults, who struggle to properly socialize.

This is due to a myriad of things, such as a lack of well-utilized third spaces, anti-social infrastructure and internet usage. These things, however, are all caused by helicopter parenting, which discourages independent learning in children. This sort of parenting has its roots in mistrust and poor community cooperation. This all starts in Troy’s neighborhoods.

According to Pew Research Center, 57% of Americans report only knowing some of their neighbors. In contrast, in 1974, 44% of neighbors had weekly gatherings with their neighbors. That 57% statistic is also very much the case in Troy today.

Junior Michael Molenda says that he does not know any of his neighbors very well. He went on to say that if his family knew their neighbors, they would be more comfortable allowing him to be more independent.

In terms of why you should actually try to speak with your neighbors, a study from the University of Michigan found that being nice to your neighbors could reduce your risk of stroke and heart attack. The difference in trust between neighbors now and 50 years ago is astounding. This change can be attributed to a few things.

A very common fear of parents’ is their child being kidnapped. While it is true that 460,000 kidnappings occur annually, according to Let Grow, an organization that advocates for childhood independence, only 105 of them were stereotypical kidnappings.

Examples of children going missing include just about anything where their whereabouts were unknown for over an hour. Most missing children are found, and found very fast. In addition to this, of those 105 traditional kidnappings, they mostly involved teens, who aren’t being given the same attention as younger children.

So, parents fears’ of their child being kidnapped by a stranger outside are largely unfounded. 92% of kidnapping victims make it home safe.

When parents weigh the pros and cons of, say, their six to eight year old riding their bike to a local park, getting ice cream or taking a walk, they can see it as less of a hazard and as their child exercising their right to interact with their community.

The benefits include all of those involved with free play, which is described as play without adult supervision in the book “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt.  It states that children psychologically benefit from time spent away from supervision. A child will come out of a situation where they have to be independent, smarter, more social and more comfortable with just about anything.

A drawback to this obviously still includes the chance that your child might be kidnapped, which happens to 0.006% of children. And traditional kidnappings happen to 0.0002% of those kidnapped.

In addition to this, when it comes to violent crime, the rate is 461 for every 100,000 people. In Troy, this number is closer to 100 for every 100,000 people. In fact, by keeping your children indoors, you might be introducing them to strangers who can say whatever they’d like behind a screen, with a good chance of having zero repercussions. In fact, 57% of teens meet new friends online according to Pew research center.

Parents, think about why you live in Troy. There’s a very good chance it is to improve the quality of schooling, safety, and opportunity for your child. There is a very good chance strangers online, regardless of their immediate danger, aren’t going to hold the same values you moved to Troy for. So why wouldn’t you put some trust into the community you selected to live in? Let your kids explore the community you picked for them.

By encouraging your kids to go outside, interact and socialize with neighborhood kids, and go on adventures, it contributes majorly to their mental development. Parents are keeping them in the safe environment they chose. There is a much higher likelihood a child will benefit from more independence than a child will be kidnapped or attacked.

In addition to community mistrust, many third spaces, or places of recreation outside the home or work, have physical barriers that make them inaccessible. These barriers can prevent those without the necessary means to use them. The primary barrier is Troy’s near inability to be traversed without a motor vehicle makes it very difficult for Troy’s kids and teens to socialize in a third space. This can lead to an increased reliance on technology for socialization as children are forced inside, which has many negative effects on childhood development. It’s what leads to just 30% of teens saying they’re learning good social skills according to the Pew Research Center.
The City of Troy can be understood very well by this motor-reliant layout. This layout is very easy to traverse in a car, but many pedestrians may find that sidewalks end abruptly and drivers think of pedestrians as a rare obstacle. This, however, isn’t much of a problem for the majority of Troy’s adult population. That creates a reliance from children on their parents to drive them around. Not only does this make parents have another myriad of things on their plate, it discourages children from exploration.

Kids can’t walk or bike to see their friends and face problems alone if they need to be driven everywhere. It is claimed by “The Anxious Generation” that free play encourages learning in ways that cannot be fostered with parents or at school.

As it pertains to where teens currently choose to hang out in Troy, senior Josie Lido said that they’ll usually go to bakeries, shops, or even parking lots to loiter.

She was asked about a parking garage and popular hangout spot on the northeast intersection of crooks and big beaver, which has been dubbed “Red-Effect” or even “Cookieee Boy’s” Tower by Troy’s teenage population. Lido said that although she’s been “up there”, referring to the top floor, she said “maybe we don’t hang out there.”

If Troy featured third spaces that were more than concrete hosts to teenage tomfoolery, maybe more of the city’s teens would feel welcome hanging out in them.

One way Troy could improve its third spaces is to incorporate more green space. Although Troy has more than 20 parks, much of the space in them is dedicated to sports fields and courts, which are often used for more organized activity. These parks tend to lack the sort of green space that is truly natural.

Lido even mentioned that “they [Troy’s parks] don’t have very nice sitting areas. You can find a picnic table, but it’s not nice to sit and study there”, criticizing the park’s infrastructure.

Like many of Troy’s resources for socialization, its parks do not allow room for children to grow without supervision from some kind of authority.

Molenda said that “even if you’re socializing in some parent-monitored environment, free play is what really develops children because you’re dealing with injuries and unexpected what-have-yous.” He went on to say that “even if you’re socializing within your parent-monitored soccer team, free play is gonna be what really develops children.”

When asked how more independence could’ve given him a step up, Molenda responded: “When you shelter children’s experiences… they’re not gonna be as comfortable with those things when they’re mature adults.” For example, “I never used power tools when I was younger and every once in a while, my dad and I will do something requiring one and I’m not as comfortable with it as it’s a new thing to me.” He stated that he would have benefitted from a childhood with more of an emphasis on exploration.

So, when it comes to parenting that allows for childhood independence, neighborly trust, and childhood social development, Troy is not doing as good as it should be. However, the obstacles Troy faces are all very much preventable. Give your neighbors a knock. Ask them how they are. Maybe even throw a block party. Once you know your local community, it will be much easier to trust them.

Graphic by Jiwoo Park